Button Tins

One absolute delight of the past month has been the time I have with Lily on the mornings that Zosia is at preschool. It is so fun to do things that she loves at her pace with no one but cute little Lily. I will admit, the first few weeks of our new routine, I went a little Lily crazy and did things that she loves at the cost of oh, housekeeping, cooking, that sort of thing.

I think we've found a new equilibrium. We do a few special one-on-one projects or trips and then I also set her up with some fun activities she can do by herself while I run around the house keeping things going, or while I nurse Hugo. Above: an old favorite, a bowl of buttons and a muffin tin.

It never ceases to amaze me how entertaining this activity is. There's sorting, piling, mixing, and I even noticed Lily actually talking to her buttons. Each one has its own personality, I guess. Ah, the joy of simple things.

Natural Beauty

We started a journey towards natural toys a while ago-- striving to find natural, touchable, beautiful things for our children to learn with. We have never been super strict or legalistic about it-- if there is a non-natural toy that they are bonded with, we allow them to keep it. If there is a special non-natural gift given, again, they can keep it. I have viewed it less as a journey away from something as a journey towards something--towards creativity and simplicity and beauty-- and I think that both my children and I have found it to be rewarding and fun.

We have slowly been moving noisy electronic toys into bags and boxes as we have discovered simple natural toys-- picked up at thrift stores, found in nature, found in our closets. I have been committed to making this transition inexpensive and doable-- there's simply no need to spend big money on expensive "natural" toys when the Creator has surrounded us with them already.

My sister and I laughed in amusement when Zosia spent near and hour playing with a bowl of buttons (which we only take out when Lily is sleeping or otherwise safely away)-- sorting them, putting them into muffin tins while naming to whom each tin would be allotted, pouring them from bowl to bowl. Previously, if I needed Zosia to be 100% occupied by something I would pop in a video-- now I know I can just pull out the buttons.

We have played with rice (just as fun, although a little more messy--which we don't mind), river stones, yarn, flower bulbs, acorns and pine cones. Pots and pans, scarves, jars. And, yes, wooden toys, too. Although, to be honest, these don't hold nearly as much wonder as the things we've scavenged from nature. I like that now when we go for a walk, Zosia's eyes are scanning the ground, looking closely at trees, trying to imagine ways to interact with her surroundings. We never pass a certain pine tree without Zosia trying to find a "mama" and "baby" pine cone to take as an accompaniment to her walk. Because she now knows that nature is a beautiful playground, filled with an assortment of magical toys. And I've started to remember that, too.

An Art Project for Autumn

We've been relishing these beautiful days of autumn, and here's one way to bring the season indoors.

Start with a pile of your favorite leaves...

Proceed by carefully covering them with paint...


And then let the creative spirit move you!

(Above is a close up of some of Zosia's own painting)

It was a delightful way to spend the morning! How does the creative spirit of autumn move you?

How to Raise Strong Women

My family has some crazy strong women. There's my great-grandmother, the race car driver. My grandmother the artist who created beauty and wonder through the darkest years of Poland's communism. My mother, who, with a little elbow grease, can get anything done. My sister, the backpacker, who seems to become more and more like Macgyver with every passing year. And so I'm not surprised that my own sweet daughters both posses some strength.

With Zosia, her strength was immediately evident-- as in, even before she was born. I think that few more active in-utero babies have ever existed. She has lived up to her reputation, possessing strength of body, strength of will, strength of emotions. Some parents might groan at such a child. They might struggle with such a child. But I know that there is something amazing in strong children, because they produce strong adults. Adults that can stand up to difficult circumstances, that can remain strong in the face of adversity. Strength is an asset.

Lily's strength is more subtle-- she is calm, steady, collected. And while she appears to be a gentle little munchkin, I know that all of her characteristics require a great deal of strength. She holds steady when life is topsy turvy. She is an anchor. Even in her tiny 5-month body, there are times when she has been able to transform the mood of this house from upset to joyful, or from chaotic to focused. She is strong, oh so strong, but in a beautifully different way.

So here we are in a family of strong women. There have been many times that I have thrown my hands up and wondered, "How do I do this?" Raising strong women is a difficult task, a responsibility that 18 plus years of schooling never prepared me for.

Over the past several years I have been watchfully observing mothers around me, my own mother, older mothers, trying to glean some wisdom about how to go about this. And I am still struggling, wondering, looking for ways to help shape two strong women. I can see that it has something to do with nurturing their natural abilities and interests, giving them control over their surroundings, teaching them about empathy and concern for others. But where do I go from there? How do I lovingly parent two women who have the power to accomplish, love, experience so much?

(Above: three generations of strong women at Zosia's baptism: I'll probably be posting some older pictures while my camera is on sick leave)

A Fearful Land

We are working through some fears around here. As in, specifically, a fear of trucks. And sometimes rocks.

Let's face it, we all have some fears. For years I was terrified of being at home alone. For some women it's childbirth. And for children, there's just so much to be afraid of-- they're little, the world is big, and at times, scary. You all remember when Zosia was sacred of water because she thought she might pee in it. Well, thank goodness, that phase of childhood has come and gone. Baths are now a much beloved activity.

Well, this current bout of fear all started when Zosia, on a playdate at a playground, witnessed a big old truck dumping some rocks. Yes, there are children who would think this was the coolest thing in the world. But my little sweetpea was shocked, scared, and left wondering, "What happened?" Which she continued asking for several days after the incident. And now anything that resembles a truck has become very scary. And rocks too.

My own experience with fear has taught me that something beautiful, amazing, freeing happens when we let go of our fears. Our lives are transformed, our spirits lifted, our reality re-imagined. It's as if our mind is given permission to stop carrying the burden of worrying and is allowed to be more present in the moment. I think few words are more powerful than the simple three, "Be not afraid."

So how do I teach my little shadow to feel safe? How do I protect her while giving her independence? How do I do it with love and compassion and grace?

Whew, today's one of those days that I'm thumbing through the parenting books. Thank you, Penelope Leach. Any suggestions, stories, anecdotes?

Nature Shelf

I received this little shelf for free from my Aunt, who was getting rid of it from her bathroom. We've been wanting to designate a special place in our home to collect little things from nature-- Zosia is quite the naturalist, and rarely comes home from a walk without a set of treasures in her pocket or basket.

I used some scraps of fabric to re-line the bottom, and have placed our nature shelf right by our front door, so Zosia can place her treasures there as soon as she comes in!

Zosia Montessori-Style

We use a veritable hodge-podge of learning philosophies around here. In part, I am still learning, still figuring out what works for our kid(s), what works for me. But I also feel like each philosophy has something unique to offer. One aspect of Montessori that I like is the idea that when you prepare your child's environment, they engage in it in a meaningful way. I picked up these "nesting blocks," (a Montessori tool) at Target for Z's birthday, and adores playing with them-- both nesting them in one another, and stacking them to create a tower. Notice how they're "self correcting"-- she doesn't need an adult to tell her when she's made a mistake, because the blocks do that in and of themselves. Man, I love that kid.

Working Towards Stroller Free

We got our primer in parenthood while living in a city, and we're a huge walking family. Which has meant that we definitely use a stroller. When you're in a crowd, it's a great way to keep track of your little one, and it's just easy. Strap them in, push them where you want them to go. We sling/carry our babies for as long as we can (which is still the case for Lily), but since we have big kiddos we can't really physically continue that into toddlerhood-- especially with two sensitive backs in the family. So we use strollers, which is a great tool to use from time to time.

But, especially as Zosia has become a very able bodied toddler, we have started taking steps towards freeing her from the stroller. We love it when she's walking on her own, because not only is it great exercise, but she loves doing things "all my self." This journey towards independence has been both amazingly fun and difficult.

Zosia loves stopping to look at things. She notices things that I would never, in a million years take the time to look at: a bug, an acorn, a branch, a cat, a patch of grass. She is the most amazing naturalist I know. It's amazing to see the world through her eyes and start to cultivate a wonder for all of these beautiful details in the world.

But then there are the challenges. Like when we're on a schedule to get somewhere and Zosia is stopping to hug a tree (happens all the time). Or when Lily is hungry and we need to get somewhere to give her a snack. One lesson we have learned is that we must allocate at least twice as much time for coming back from a destination as for getting there. Sometimes more. Somehow the need to get back home is never quite as pressing as the need to get somewhere new and exciting.

And we have learned to go to places where we can let Zosia explore her environment a little more freely-- parks with minimal bike/ car traffic, natural places like streams. That way we can let her go without constantly having to remind her to stay on the sidewalk or on the side of the road. We can relax, which is wonderful.

Sometimes we still load up the family-- Zosia in a stroller, Lily in a carrier, Selma on a leash-- and go for a nice long walk that is exercise for both adults in the family. That feels wonderful and lets us clear our mind and is one of the things we love doing as a couple-- as a family. But then other times we have learned to let go, go slow, and enjoy the little things along the way.

(And no, Lily's not walking yet... that's Zosia last fall!)

How does your family get around? How do you negotiate the needs of each member of the family?

Picnic Table Invention

We've had this little stepstool from Ikea for almost a year now, and it is a fixture in our household. It's sturdy, and just the right hight for climbing up to the kitchen counter to help out with cooking. And, I must admit, I have used it a time or two myself to get to the top shelf in the pantry.

We've used it hundreds of times, always as a step stool, but just to show you how children always have eyes for new things, I walked in the other day to find Zosia using it as none other than a picnic table. Perfect! I can't believe I hadn't thought of that. It looks exactly like a little toddler picnic table.

Natural Toys

I love visiting historic places with Zosia. One thing about them is they often have lovely handmade children's toys that are fascinating to her-- hammers and peg boards, wheelbarrows, little wooden swings. She seems to love the natural textures and feels of these toys, which makes me wish that I could integrate more of them into my own household.

We are huge on hand-me-down toys. I will not turn down a toy based on the fact that it is plastic, squeaks, or involves electronics. But, I will admit, not only do those toys get on my nerves, but they're sort of an eye sore. I hope that both Zosia and Lily grow up with an appreciation of nature and natural things-- wood, stone, yarn. What better way to do this than to fill their world with beautiful natural things?

We have some wooden toys, and she loves them. As her second birthday is approaching, I'm on the lookout for some more "natural" toys to fill out our collection. I'm not sure quite what yet, but there are lots of ideas floating around: an old-timey trike, a collection of colored spools of thread, a set of plain wooden blocks. We'll see what I can find on craigslist and at the thrift store.

In the mean time, does anyone out there have ideas for natural kids toys? Have you seen anything interesting or creative out there?

Repurposed Bookshelf

Thanks to a tip from our friend Carolyn, I have re-purposed a standing bookshelf that we no longer have space for as a reading bench for Z. She loves it, and it fits perfectly under the window in her room. So far there is a lot of standing, lying, and playing that goes on the bench. With time I'm hoping that the reading will happen. There is, however, lots of reading that happens on the love seat in the living room. As you can see from this picture of Zosia (and if you look closely you can see Lily, who has been given a toy by Zosia).

Maria Montessori's Life

I'm finally reading The Montessori Method, Maria Montessori's work outlining her method of educating young children. I have started the book many times, and have never really made it that far-- it's written in a style typical of its time which is very theoretical, wordy, and abstract (especially the first chapters). Luckily, if you plow through the beginning, you are rewarded with some very concrete descriptions.

But I've found some of the facts of Maria Montessori's life to be fascinating-- especially given the almost cult-following that her teachings have generated. I have a couple of books about instigating Montessori principles at home that I just ordered from Amazon and should be headed my way. I'll review those books and mention ideas that I found helpful. But, for today, here are some of those interesting and, at times, shocking, facts about Maria Montessori and the ideas that she propogated:

* Her methods were originally created for severely learning disabled children in the slums of Rome (which she refers to, in a very un-PC manner, as "idiots"). Only after they had been very successful with this population were they modified and expanded for other types of kids.

* She actually envisioned that her "Children's Houses" would essentially replace family units. She had very Utopian visions of children being left in these "houses," and their mothers going off to work, thereby liberating themselves from the oppressive yoke of childcare.

* She herself never had a family. She had one child, out of wedlock, which she put up for adoption. She was a very edgy woman-- a doctor, independent, and I'm guessing, a force to be reckoned with.

* Her method relies very specifically on a certain set of Montessori "tools" that are laid out and employed according to age-appropriateness. Many are similar to those "Melissa and Doug's" toys that you can purchase all over the place-- others, like her gymnastics equipment, are more crazy sounding.

* She had very strong theories about everything, ranging from how children were to sit, to how they were to be interacted with, to what they would eat-- followers of the Westin A. Price theory of high-fat toddler food would probably find a kindred spirit in Montessori. But, she had some weirded dietary beliefs, many of which we would probably discard (like that bread is the perfect food for children, children should have a diet primarily composed of soup, high sugar diets are ideal).

*One principle of Montessori education is mixing age groups-- sort of emulating the family in this way. Children are mixed up with other kids of all ages, and that way have the opportunity to both learn and teach.

So, I'm still reading, and am very absorbed by the parts of her book where she actually gets into the specifics of her "method." It's fascinating, and I'm really excited to start trying out the methods at home-- I'm realizing that we've had a very montessori-style home from the beginning, emphasizing Zosia's ability to guide her own learning. But I'm trying to figure out how to reconcile some of Montessori's foundational beliefs with my own. It's especially tricky for me to reconcile her belief that the family is sort of a thing of the past with my own view that there's nothing more central than the family for a child's development. Montessori was definitely writing before attachment theory was commonly accepted as scientific truth. Or the fact that she never had her own family is also something that changes my view of her theories-- because no matter how many children she taught, she never had them 24-7, nor did she deal with children on a highly-individual basis (her methods relied heavily on a group mentality where children watch and follow older children).

So I'm still committed to incoporating Montessori into our home, but am just realizing that, as with just about any theory, I'll have to do some picking and choosing.

Day Boxes

I have finally gotten around to a project that I have been thinking about for a while: creating special "day boxes" with some art supplies, books, puzzles, and toys that will only be pulled out on certain days of the week during Lily's morning nap. I have sort of come to terms with the fact that Lily isn't going to nap too well on the move, which means that Z-dubbs and I are here at home in the morning. And I have noticed that there are many art supplies that go unused and many books that are ignored because they're always around. So first I pulled a bunch of toys and put them in the unfinished part of the basement, I left some out, and I separated the rest into the boxes. And Zosia and I got some great art supplies last night (finger painting, anyone?), which I'm really excited to try out this week. Then, as she gets bored of the toys that are around, we'll start rotating new ones in.

Notice that Friday doesn't have a box. Which in all honesty, is because I couldn't find a tupperware with a lid. But I'm thinking maybe Fridays we'll just do music and bubbles or something like that.

Montessori Monday: Chores

I am in the super duper baby steps of starting to learn how to be a teacher to a toddler. So far, Montessori method is the one that resounds most strongly with me-- I have done some reading on it, am a graduate of a Montessori preschool myself, and have interacted with several wonderful families that have used Montessori with their kids. I know there's lots of interest out there in Montessori, and some of you might be interested in what's going on with Zosia, so I thought I would try to make it a point to share some Montessori principles that I am learning and using with Zosia.

My mom always says, whenever asked about my preschool, something to the effect of, "Well, they always had you scrubbing tables." Which is actually true. And now that I know a bit more about Montessori, I understand that this is a principle of the method, and not just my preschool teachers getting lazy. The basic idea is that you should have children do as much as they are capable of doing, even if it means that they don't do it as well as you do, or that they take a long time. This gives them a chance to get the satisfaction of completing tasks for themselves, and, with time, actually means that they start being helpful.

Some things that Zosia does "for herself" include cleaning the table (shown above), setting the table, retrieving new diapers and throwing old ones away, cleaning up toys, putting dirty clothes in the laundry, washing her hands, and mixing ingredients in the kitchen. Obviously, since she's not even two yet, none of these things are done perfectly, but I can honestly say that not only is she very proficient at getting many of these done, but she is a help to me around the house.

One thing that's particularly challenging about this aspect of Montessori is resisting perfectionist urges. If a child repeatedly does something him or herself only to see you immediately go back and "do it right" or correct them, that will ultimately (according to Montessori) reduce their belief in themselves. So, within reason, the goal is to let them do it and then sort of let it be, even if that means having a slightly crumby kitchen table, or whatever. And come on, who can't use an extra pair of hands around the house?

A Case of the Tuesdays

For some reason, the last several Tuesdays have been the hardest day of the week for me. Regardless of whether Ben is at home on Monday or not, at the end of the day on Tuesday I feel like I have been run over by a truck. I think that last Tuesday I literally handed Ben the kids and said I needed to lie down, and the Tuesday before that the whole family spent the whole afternoon/evening in bed together, reading and playing because I refused to get out. I'm happy to report that so far, so good today. In fact, the combination of another stunning day outside and a quick visit from my mom on her way to work have made it an all-around pleasant morning. Here's what we've been up to:

One big Montessori principle is having kids use real-world activities to develop motor skills. Here's Zosia hammering away at a little board with pegs with a hammer.

And this morning's artistic creation, entitled "Circle," by our budding artist.

And me and the girls while my mom was visiting. We tried to capture Lily's humongous smile, but couldn't do it!

Full Service

Zosia washed our car this weekend. A classic case where pictures speak louder than words.

one day it will be worth millions...

This morning Zosia was very hard at work painting. After completing one painting, she announced, "Popcorn!" as she looked at it. Not too bad, if you ask me.