Twins Turning Two

Dorothy and Clara turned two the day after Christmas.  We happened to have all of our family still here, and so we made it a festive family day with cupcakes and a pinata and party hats and noise makers.  We took a day off of the presents part of the "twelve days of Christmas" for everyone else to give some semblance of this being Clara and Dorothy's day (I think I see a half birthday tradition emerging in the near future).  And despite all of my best efforts, looking back, it does sort of blend in with the celebratory, wonderful, exciting season of Christmas.  

But I think that for our family, Christmas will always contain the story of their births within it.  Rushing to the hospital the night of Christmas day, our Christmas train under the tree and wrapping paper still littering the rug.  Praying and praying for a safe delivery on the way to the hospital, driving through the desolate midnight streets of Washington DC, festively lit for the holiday, the words of this obscure carol stuck in my head.  They were born in a dark room lit by a single string of Christmas lights, first Clara, and then Dorothy, on her own time, some two and a half hours later.

And just as our Christmas will always contain these two ladies within it, so too will our family, which has expanded to fit Miss Clara and Dorothy quite comfortably.  They are communicative and attentive and playful and very securely attached to the the many people in their lives who love them.  Both are very independent, capable, and pretty easy going.  And while they are transforming with every passing day, today I would say that Clara is adaptable, fearless, and filled with curiosity and adventure.  Dorothy is silly, loyal, and a little more sentimental.

And somewhere in the craziness of having two one year olds under a single roof, we have started to notice the very subtle magic that exists in the relationship between these two ladies.  There is a loyalty and awareness and selflessness between them that surfaces every now and then which takes us all by surprise, and I just can't wait to see what it blossoms into.

Happy birthday to my sweet, mischievous, girls.  We absolutely adore you.

(and for those of you on baby watch for our newest addition, no baby yet!  Just hanging out, enjoying our final days as a family of seven and absolutely dying from the curiosity of who this person is going to be!)

Advent, Almost Two, and Pregnancy

Advent is in full swing around here, which means that the tree is up and lit but not decorated, there are nativities all around the house, and every evening we gather for a moment of prayer and reflection around our (not yet made Advent wreath) and candles.  The thing I love about Advent is that it gives us permission to be not quite ready yet,  because man do I find myself needing a few extra days to get anything done around here!

The twins, if you can believe it, are right around the corner from turning TWO, and can I just take this opportunity to sing an ode to being two?  Having two one year olds in the house has been (picture me biting my tongue), quite an adventure?  Ay yi yi!  The messes!  The quarrels!  The opinions (without ability to express them)!  However, the past few weeks, on many occasions, we have sat back and watched while Clara and Dorothy happily, cooperatively, enthusiastically play together, and this has been amazingly wonderful.  They love both imaginarily and really feeding one another, washing one another in the bath, and (this is so cute) massaging one another before bed.  They have fully embraced the world of spoken speech and are adorably assertive and direct in their language choices.  "Sit!  Here!  Mama! (complete with finger pointing to exactly where I should sit)" is Clara's favorite, which is perfectly fitting for the daughter of a women who is perpetually flitting about from one thing to the next.  Oh my goodness, this age is among my favorites.

I am entering that stage of pregnancy when I am both ramping up, inexplicably getting a surge of energy that causes me to want to rearrange the whole house, and sloooowing down, royally crashing and then spending the day in my slippers and pajamas.  We have only now started assembling baby things and I am once again comforted by the fact that a newborn baby needs surprisingly little in the first months.  A sling?  A few outfits and diapers?  A baby swing?  California weather is a dream, and I am relieved that I won't have to mess with too much bundling this time around.  And my mind continues to be blown by the fact that we will just have one baby!  We are so excited, you guys.  Having a new baby is magic.

On Parenting One Year Old Twins

Having one year old twins has definitely been the ultimate challenge of my parenting career.  There are things that I could never have planned for: Dorothy knows that Clara is the fearless one, so whenever she gets a hold of a dangerous object, she immediately runs up to Clara and hands it over.  I can understand the thinking: Clara's into that sort of thing, right?  Where our other children have had a natural circumference of about 100 feet away from us that they will travel before they want to head back to their home base, Clara and Dorothy have a circumference to one another.  As long as they're walking in the same direction, they're good to go.  Indefinitely.  Yikes!

There are those moments that feel utterly impossible.  When one baby is fussy, and I think of just the perfect distraction, and as soon as I hand it to her, her sister becomes fussy because she wants one too.  Or the moments that both babies desperately want me that very minute, but will not settle for being held at the same time as a sister.  As a parent who has derived so much purpose and satisfaction from nurturing attachment with each of my children, these moments are the hardest.  When I feel like I'm giving my entire self and it is not enough.  It feels like I'm drowning without any life preservers to be seen.

I am ever so slowly learning the things that help make this a sustainable phase for our family.  Everyone is happier outside.  The twins need to spend some time contained-- whether in a high chair, a stroller, or a carseat-- every day, if only so I can get a bathroom break.  Clara and Dorothy also seem to really crave and need one on one time with us, separate from one another.  This is the hardest one to accommodate, but possibly the most important.  We are still trying to figure out how to carve out consistent time for each of them to get undivided attention, and have found that when we can make it happen, it makes everyone happier.  Oh, and it is absolutely essential to get a break.  Can you find a way to make this happen regularly?  Whether from a loving husband or a skilled babysitter, this is necessary for survival during what I have learned is a high needs phase of twin parenting.  

Every now and then I feel a surge of creative energy that takes the form of cooking an exciting meal, or organizing a part of the house, or embarking upon a game or project with the older kids.  These are the activities that I love, which give me deep satisfaction and joy, and yet they have often been set aside out of necessity during this busy season of parenting.  When I utterly lose myself to one of these activities, when I'm cooking up a storm, or organizing the girls' closet, or making plans for the coming year's schooling, or reflecting upon my experiences here in this space, those are the moments that I know I have moved beyond the most intense phase.  I am breathing calmly, I am immersed in something I love, surrounded by my children, including a very adorable set of one year old twins. It is a good feeling.

Leftover Pot Pie and Twins in the Oven (again)

I wish I could give you a recipe for a pot pie made from leftovers, but it truly is a fly by the seat of your pants sort of endeavor.  For this one, I started out with half of an onion, about a pound of boneless, skinless chicken chopped into small pieces, a cup and a half of leftover cooked green beans, and then a cup of peas and a cup of corn.  The only thing these ingredients had in common was that they were in the refrigerator, needed to be eaten, and seemed like they might taste good together.  Invention is born of out of necessity, right?  You could use just about any combination of fresh or cooked vegetables and meat, making sure to cook the raw vegetables and meat first, and then adding cooked ingredients later.

I sauteed the onions, then added the chicken and cooked it until it was mostly done, added the green beans, peas, and corn, and cooked until they were warmed through.  Then I made a well in the center of the ingredients, into which I added a half a stick of butter and a quarter cup of flour (also measured loosely!).  I mixed those together with a fork until the butter was melted and the flour was slightly brown.  Then I added two cups of milk, whisked together, incorporating the meat and vegetables as I went.  About a minute later, the chicken and vegetables were in a lovely cream sauce (if I were to give you a recipe, it would be for this ratio of butter, flour, and milk to make a roux.  It works well).  I'm sure Julia child would scoff at my technique of making a roux, but this saves the step (and extra dirty dish) of using a separate pan and works for me.  I topped it with an extra pie crust I had in the fridge, baked for about thirty minutes along with some cupcakes Zosia had made, and the plates and pie dish were literally licked clean by the end of the meal.  I have come to value "recipes" like these that can be amended and altered based on what's on hand!

And if you didn't get your fill of naughty babies climbing into ovens last week, our saga continued into the week!  The twins were very excited to play with the play kitchen that Ben made years ago for Christmas, pulled up from the basement for their enjoyment.  They spent the better part of the week sorting the play food and putting toys in the sink area. Then, on Saturday, we walked into this:

I do believe this was a brilliantly planned example of twin teamwork.  Clara climbed in, Dorothy closed the door, and voila!  I must have walked by them a couple of times before Ben pointed out that Clara was in the play kitchen.  I'm sure the fact that she was lavished with attention from all of her siblings didn't further our cause of trying to get her out, but oh my goodness, it was so cute.

Happy Monday!

Around the Fire, In the Oven, and Eight New Teeth

I am generally insisting that twins are not nearly twice as hard as having one baby.  Maybe they're akin to having one tricky baby, but twice?  No way.  Well, this past week I learned that having two teething twins is definitely twice as hard.  More than twice as hard, because there's no way you can hold two miserable babies constantly, or sooth them the way you want to.  Whew, that was quite a week.  To say I was relieved to wake up to two cheery twins with a grand total of eight two year molars between the two of them yesterday morning (no wonder they were grumpy!  That's a lot of work!) is an understatement.  I was jubilant!

Last week in the midst of "the teething week" I would get pretty out of ideas by the end of the afternoon, and found that starting a fire in the fireplace worked wonders to calm the big kids, the babies, and myself.  Of course it meant that I had to sit down from whatever I was doing, but generally that was exactly what I needed to do.  We read a lot of books.  The babies have grown to love books, and they are in the right house for that particular hobby, with two parents and three older siblings who share their interest.

Dinners have been quick, simple, and generally separated into elements.  Grilled salmon, a loaf of buttered bread, and steamed green beans.  Chicken, broccoli, and rice.  Whenever I cook like this out of necessity, I am reminded that simple food is delicious, and the children love it.

Going into the weekend, I was feeling burned out  Where sometimes my instinct, as an introvert, is to use a moment like this to retreat and spend time entirely by myself, instead I spent the weekend intentionally seeking out opportunities to be with each of the three older kids.  A trip to a friend's house, a morning running errands, a coffee date, going swimming at the rec center.  Nothing exceptional, but I made a point of being present and connected with each of them, which is something that can fall by the wayside when I'm really busy with the babies.  It was one of my favorite weekends in recent memory, and it reminded me that quality one on one time is something that renews and energizes me.

And with that, I am off to do some Valentine's Day work!  Just a week and a half away, and I have a lot of pom poms to make.

One Year Old

My two little darlings turned one the day after Christmas.  They are thoughtful, sweet, and happy to be in the middle of all the action. I couldn't possibly understand what an incredible gift I was receiving the day they were born.  They are just delightful.

This Sunday, we finally got around to throwing a celebration (such is life as a twin? as a kid in a big family? as a kid with a birthday the day after Christmas?  Insert excuse here, I guess we have many to choose from).  The cupcakes (lemon cupcakes and frosting with sprinkles for the kids, or lemon cupcakes and frosting with bacon bits for the adults.  Thank Ben for the culinary genius), the matching dresses, the cutesy photos.  Those were for us.

The increasing delight in one another, playing hide and seek with a curtain between them in the morning, or laughing and hugging and kissing on the couch in the moments after a nap.  These are the ever giving gift for these two girls to receive.  When I put Clara down in her crib at bedtime, she always looks up to make sure that I am nursing Dorothy, and only then lies down onto her stomach and goes to sleep.  Dorothy brings Clara toys when I am changing her diaper to keep her happy.  You just can't make up things like this, it's a beautiful and incredible bond, and we have the privilege of watching it develop and unfold effortlessly before our eyes.

Happy Birthday, Clara!  Happy Birthday, Dorothy!  Here's to another fabulous year.