I am undergoing a transformation. No, it is not one of those snazzy makeovers complete with shopping spree. Because here's the thing: I have realized that it is totally not worth it to try so hard. It's not worth it to try to make your hair perfect. It's not worth it to try to dress perfectly. It's not worth it to try to be so put together. Forget make-over. I'm doing a make-under.
Historically, I like to be put together. My sister tells the story of arriving a couple hours after Zosia's birth expecting to see a tired, haggard mother. But I was sitting there, made up, dressed in nice clothes, smiling with my baby. Well, I'm turning over a new leaf.
It started with my hair. Since middle school, I have been a blow-dryer. Those of you with fussy hair know the significance of this. Your hair simply must be blowdried (even straightened during certain periods of time-- can't quite imagine that now). Well, slightly after Lily was born, I gave not blowdrying a try. I simply took a shower in the evening, slept on it wet, and brushed it out in the morning. And? I actually liked it. I even got compliments on it! It was fuller and wavier than if I blowdried it, and saved me the effort. That was the first step in my make-under. These days, no blowdryer necessary, which saves me time, and I think will probably be good for my hair in the long run.
Second step? Eliminating foundation. Those total natural beauty-types out there will cringe at the thought of ever wearing foundation, but I will admit, I wore it. I even felt naked without it for the first week or so. But, after a few days, I felt like my skin was clearer and happier. And that cut down my make-up routine to a few easy steps.
Third step was the yoga pants. I have historically been a skirt and peasant top sort of person, but have recently felt like "dressing up" has inhibited me from getting down to play with the kids. So I caved and bought a second pair of yoga pants and some nursing tops. It feels kind of funny to go somewhere like the library and notice that I'm wearing the same thing as all the other moms out there. But I guess there's a reason-- it's practical, and comfortable. And for reasons unbeknownced to me (I will never understand men), Ben thinks it's cute, too.
Final step, although this is a tenuous one, is eliminating make-up. I'm not a militant no-make up person, and probably never will be. I love concealer. I also love mascara. But should I really feel like I need to have make-up on in order to be presentable? Is there anything wrong with my own skin, my own eyelashes, my own face? So this week I experimented with wearing no make-up. At first you feel like someone is going to stop you and say, "Excuse me, but you forgot your face" or something. But, in all honesty, no one seems to notice (which makes you wonder, why on earth did I spend all that time and money over all of those years?).
So, things are changing around here. Before you know it I'll be one of those people nominated for the make-overs! (maybe that should be my goal) I'm still open to dressing up and putting on make-up-- I actually like both of those things and am sure I'll do them from time to time on either a special occasion or just because. I'm sure some women will say that actually taking the time to get dressed up and made up makes them feel more happy. But for me, feeling totally comfortable in my own skin and body is nice. And surprisingly new.