Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Rub a Dub Dub

If you had to guess the two members of our family that have totally abandoned Western hygienic practices, who would you guess? Would it be the obsessive compulsive toddler who refuses to play in mud for fear of getting dirty? Would it be the preppy software engineer who loves little more than washing his hands? Or would it be the hippy dippy mom who has already made it a habit to skip days between showers? The laid back newborn? The stinky dog?

Well, I'll just tell you. It's Ben and Zosia. Yup, the two most fastidious, cleanly people in the house are going through some sort of hygiene crisis. This is how it started:

Two weeks ago, I was taking a bath with Zosia, when, all of a sudden, she started very emphatically saying, "New diaper! New diaper!" She very often says things that don't quite make sense to me, so I sort of ignored her, and continued playing with the bath toys, or whatever it is that I do in the bath. She kept on with the new diaper thing and it started developing into a little fit. So I tried to calm her down and figure out what, exactly, "new diaper" meant. At that point she started yelling at the top of her lungs "Out! Out!" Okay. Out I could do. So I pulled her out of the tub and put her down on the bath mat, at which point she peed on the mat. Aha! So she was terrified of peeing in the tub. She is, for some inexplicable reason, terrified of peeing anywhere but her diaper, even though she knows exactly when it's coming.

So since then, Zosia is on a bath strike. She refuses to go in, and starts clinging to her diaper whenever I try to undress her for a bath. She's absolutely totally terrified of peeing in the bath. I've assured her that it's fine to pee in the bath. Isn't that what kids do? They pee in baths, pools, anything? We've tried treats, encouragement, everything, but nothing works. She's terrified of baths actually out of her obsession with cleanliness-- she doesn't want to risk bathing in her own pee.

On to our next hygiene rebel. A week or so ago, Ben started a conversation something like, "I think I'm not going to wash my hair everyday." I think this was when we were around the kids, so I was busy, and just sort of said, "Yeah, I've heard that's better for your hair" or something like that, and we dropped the topic. A few days later (like 4) Ben told me that he hadn't washed his hair since we talked. I said, "Sweetie, isn't four days a little long? I've heard every other day is best." At that point he informed me that what he meant during our original conversation is that he is going to stop washing his hair altogether. No more shampoo. Ever. I guess he vaguely remembers a conversation with his brother several years ago in which his brother said he had heard of some people who don't shampoo, just sort of scrub with their hands, and have great hair because of it. No need for product. So my darling hubby is going without shampoo. At least it saves money, right?

On a more cleanly note, Lily and I are actually washing, with soap and shampoo, every single day. Talk about a role reversal.

But, while I hate to admit it, Ben's hair does look good.


Once Upon a Parent said...

This made me chuckle! If you need any ideas for getting Z back into the tub I have two hippy dippy ideas!

One and Doll said...

That is hilarious and wonderful. .. any consolation in running your hands through Ben's greasy hair is that they say for curly haired people they should never wash their hair. . . it's bad for it. . . but I don't know if I would call Ben's hair curly.

Zosia- is hilarious... Does she freak out in the swimming pool? I love her!

Emily said...

ha...should i stop washing my hair. Solidarity with BEN!! Zosia is amazing, I actually find peeing in the shower freeing!

Adele Paz Collins said...

Yes, I would loove tips for getting Z in the tub. Emily, I will let Zosia know how freeing peeing in the shower could be. Maybe that will help. And Rachel, pool seems to be okay... but then again she's wearing a swimming diaper (which I suggested for the bath but was rejected).