Monday, April 20, 2009

Being Over-Ready?

I remember when I was in high school and preparing to play a concerto (on the flute... yes, I play the flute) with my area youth orchestra, the conductor advised me early in the year not to over-practice. Little did he know that over-practicing was never really a problem for me.... But, I get what he was saying. Sometimes you just prepare something to the point of it losing its spontaneity, its charm, its capacity to be something new.

And here I find myself, either at or slightly before my due date, feeling like I may have failed to heed this good piece of advice. Last time around I didn't get ready enough and regretted it-- I still remember coming home totally and absolutely exhausted from a run to Target with my mom two days after Zosia was born. There were just things that I hadn't thought of: like the fact that I would want some postpartum clothes that would be easy to breastfeed in and more comfortable than pre-pregnancy stuff. Or that I would want a baby bathtub, or more warm suits, or whatever. Anyway, I still remember how tiring and draining it was to try to do anything in those first days of having a newborn, while still recovering from the exhaustion of birth and adjusting to breastfeeding. So this time I have certainly not made the same mistake twice, and pledged early on to be prepared for this baby.

But you know what? I sort of think I was ready for this baby something like 3 weeks ago. We had all of the supplies for the birth, the baby's room ready, etc. It's nice to be sitting here totally and completely prepared. I mean, we have everything-- clothes for me for after the birth, toys for Zosia, snacks for the midwife and doula for the birth, etc. Ben and I just got back from a monster grocery run to get lots of easy meals and fresh fruit to have around the house because we're seriously feeling that this baby is coming in the near future. But now that I'm sort of feeling a real surge of nesting instinct, I have nothing to do with myself! How unsatisfying.

1 comment:

One and Doll said...

This posting strikes me now as very ironic!